Bright Lights Film Journal

Ac-Ac-Academy Notes

It’s an award show full of lost speech, from the literal stroke of Kirk Douglas to the stutters and confusion of presenters and recipients, to the SPEECH itself.

reminding us what its like trying to talk to a person older than 90 years old who’s had a stroke

when you’re anxious to go to the bathroom.

People come unprepared and confused, large moments of silence;

confused populations of stars with no one to lead them to and fro.

The eloquence of the Social network guy wont be denied, stridently taking his time even into the rising Oscar cues for commercial, a slow inexorable swelling of a single chord that would send lesser men silently and shamefaced from the podium.

“I would like to thank the queen,” accepted on behalf of all the stutterers around the world, we have been h-h-heard.” I’m sure that was all staged or was it? with James Franco in a Marilyn “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend” gown, introducing Helen Mirren and Russell Brand.

This is a real Oscar – mugafuc p– thank you so much / the academy / what an honor / I amso truly honored / and grateful ….. I really wanna thank Tom Bernard and Tony for believing so strongly in a Better World.”

“Ladies and gentlement, ac-academy award winner (nominee?) Reese Witherspoon.

“a-a-a-a- Amy, Jack, Mark, Dickie and Vickie, where’s my quacka? Pushin’ people out there and lettin’ others know we exist, and my wife-ah-ah-

he forgot his name’s wife!

Commercial! – SUPER 8 – from Spielberg and Jursassic Parks International-

“There’s a tradition of singing at the Oscars,” sitting on the edge of the stairs, in her Dorothy Garland touch, “On my own / cuz someone’s a Hugh / Jackass” proceeding to single out Hugh Jackman: “He stuck his / fake retractible claws / into my heart / when he left me on / my own.”

“it’s a universal gesture, introducing the Mercedes Benz – the best or nothing, that is what drives us.”

LION KING – “50 Million People have felt the Thrill”

“For 36 consecutive years has had a great relationship with the ABC network… until 2020,” even the suits have to come out an announce relationships.

Why they don’t scroll advertisdements in the margins of the Oscars when speechmakers win onto long. special silent commercials.

Obvious statements:

The movie musical: ‘music and sound’ are forever linked to the magic of moving pictures.”

Medley shading 2001 timpanis into ‘tonight.’ – Randy Newman, ever-present.

Nicole Kidman introduces a medley of best original score – the first couple are glaringly obvious orchestral knock-offs, the last three for genuinely original score, Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, the best named pair of winners, seriously who wouldn’t want either of those names?

Wow, is this really happening? It’s great to see Trent Reznor all normal and such a level-headed guy. No need to hold onto the Nine Inch Nails, “I am six degrees of Kevin Bacon away from the next two presenters -Matthew M. and Scarlett J.,”

SWAN criminally under-represented in the fields of soundtrack and sound design!!!

People falling back on tired cliches like canes or crutches.

Some chick singing “Happy birthday” from the American Cancer Society… unbearable quirk, with rodeos and phones and running along the beach, and sending things to cute girls in indie guide.”

It’s death to be too cocky before you get your first Nielsens back, Medical Examiner!

jkljlkjllkjljljljljlkljljlkjjjtaillsgood evening I’m George Clooney –

I should’ve gotten a haircut (applause!)

I invite the world, you can find them on Itunes. I think you’re gonna love it. Bunch of NYU… kids

Talk faster! Someone who did crap services Sasha Gordon”

Natalie Portman radiant / Randy Newman droll / everyone else yawnsville.

the End