Bright Lights Film Journal

Happy Birthday Lindsay Ronson!

As a longtime champion of the debauched Lindsay Lohan (who turns 22 today), I’m thrilled to see her in the arms of a good, solid club kid like celebrity DJ Samantha Ronson. While the spin doctors in the Lindsay camp are unwilling to call them a “lesbian couple” (for fear of spooking those album-buying crackers south of the Mason Dixon probably), it’s pretty apparent that, if nothing else, they’re a beautiful “faux-bian” couple and Ronson is undoubtedly a great influence on Lohan, since Sam’s managed to spin records at clubs long enough to get famous, rather than, say, nodding off in the bathroom like so many of her contemporaries. She’s an eye in the center of the drug-swilling hurricane, and as long as she stays by Ronson’s side, I have a feeling our Lindsay’s going to be just fine (and they both seem to know it, too; as inseparable as John and Yoko, and ten times cooler).

The best story so far is Lohan screaming at Ashley Olsen, as per Fox News: “Ashley Olsen said hello to Sam at [the Beatrice Inn in New York City], and Lindsay screamed at her, “Get your 15-year-old ‘Full House’ ass away from my girlfriend!”

That is so hot, like something Courtney Love might have shouted in the early 90s! At any rate, in a medium where tedium reigns (by which I mean one more baby for Angelina and other tired unconsciously patriarchal heterosexual missionary bullshit) the emotional rescue of Lohan by this funky little baby dyke DJ is about the coolest thing going. And today Lindsay is 22!! Happy birthday, Lindsay, you beacon of “petty morals”-free truth to a bogged-down generation!