Yes it is ugly out there. What are the choices?
Wild Hogs: “I haven’t laughed this much in ages!”, Marian Etoile-Watson, Fox TV/New York. “Etoile-Watson.” Yeah, that’s a name I can trust.
300: Um, no.
The Ultimate Gift: “graced with fine performances from A-list actors.”, Chicago Tribune. A-list actors get all Hallmark on your ass. Guess not.
Premonition: This is that Sandra Bullock thing. Remember Sandy as that computer nerd with the killer black bikini? Wow. Those were the days.
Zodiac: “A mind-bending , nonstop mesmerizer of a movie.”, Peter “Quote Whore” Travers. A sicko murders innocent chicks and they don’t even catch him. Excuse me, but when I go out for popular entertainment, I want closure.
Starter for 10: English flick, Psychedelic Furs on the soundtrack. Almost! Almost! But pass.
Amazing Grace: William Wilberforce, English dude, liked to party, if you know what I mean, with William Pitt, who was like totally gay, until Wilberforce converted to Christianity and became a total bore. WW freed the slaves in England, pretty much, while WP got all strung out on the booze. Yeah, that’s pretty much how it went, living in the 18th century.
Ghost Rider: Guy rides a bike with his head on fire. Almost! Almost!
Dead Silence: “You scream. You die.” Uh-huh. Uh-huh, but nuh-huh.
I Think I Love My Wife: Chris Rock! He means well, but can he carry a picture? At least he isn’t playing a fat chick, right? Maybe when it’s on disc.
The Host: Korean horror, the toast of the cognoscenti. Already I’m bailing.
Maybe it’s time to open a decent sherry and put on the first season of Our Miss Brooks.