Bright Lights Film Journal

Once more into the breach

More than once I have sworn off writing about Lindsay Lohan. After all, Lindsay’s contribution to film, while quite reasonably groovy, falls well short of stupendous. Yet, try as I might, the reasons for writing about little LL keep multiplying like rabbits. Plus, she’s so damn cute.

First of all, little Lindsay has been hitting the Blackberry again. Why not? As she herself realizes “I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me.”* As any Spiderman flick will tell you, with great power comes great responsibility, and Lindsay knows this. She is trying to reach out for guidance. “Al Gore will help me he came up to me last night and said he would be very happy to have a conversation with me.”

Yes, Lindsay is reaching out, but what is Big Al doing? Hiding behind a “rep,” who offers the following: “I can confirm for you that Mr. Gore has only met Ms. Lohan once, very briefly, at the GQ Men of the Year dinner last week. There were hundreds of other guests.”

On behalf of “Ms. Lohan,” I would like to inform Mr. Global Warming, or should that be “Mr. GQ?”, that the next time I catch up with him, he’ll find it mighty warm! And, Lindsay, you can melt my glacier any time.

*For the full text, go to Slate and scroll down past self-appointed big mouth Timothy Noah’s wisecracks. And no thanx to the Fix and the NY Post! Lay off Lindsay, damn it! Just lay off! She has heart, and she has soul, and she has freckles, and you can’t handle it! So just lay off!