Well, weep no more, my lady. Those good folks at Hawthorne Village, whoever the fuck they are, have heard your plea. The John Wayne train is on the way!
Yes, for only, well, quite a bit of money, actually, you’d better read the fine print, you can have this authentic, old time model steam engine, and matching cars, all bearing the Duke’s likeness in all his Injun-killin’ glory! It’s made to On30 scale, whatever that is, but it runs on HO track! (I did not see that coming.) And the track is free! (Or else included in the cost; it depends on how you look at it.)
The John Wayne train. Because in America, everyone has too much money.